Monday, August 4, 2008

I'm a survivor

So I didn't die via a horrific U-haul accident. However, that does not mean my life has not been in mortal peril since then. I'm pretty sure I could've died yesterday...yet this time it would not have been in the name of female empowerment and independence (we'll pretend thats the real reason I opted to drive the Uhaul instead of admitting its because I'm cheap and stubborn)

Nope. This time it was a direct result of the always dangerous combination of friendly taunting by my peers and my own sheer curiosity that prompted me to try oysters. Now, I like food but I wouldn't consider myself a foodie by any means so my background knowledge on oysters was limited at best. Needless to say, I was more than a bit concerned when the plate arrived. Luckily, I got a quick tutorial on both how to eat them and the myriad of things you can put on them. (this should've been my first indication that I was in for a bumpy ride...if you need to put 19 different things on it to make it taste good, that's not a good sign)

So after my lesson in Oyster Eating 101, I had a loaded up, ready to go down the hatch oyster and 3 people staring at me in anticipation. No one ever wants other people watching them eat...especially something you have to slurp out of a shell but it had to be done so after several attempts (resulting in several instances of me chickening out), I finally just went for it.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I could try and come up for a colorful, adjective-ridden description for both how it tasted and how I felt about it...but I just don't know if words would really suffice. So for now, I'm sticking with ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I swore to myself I would never eat that again. I'd check it off my food list, pat myself on the back for being open to new things and then NEVER do it AGAIN...And, in true friend fashion, this is when the taunting begins.

"you can't just try one, Marie". All eyes are once again on me. I pretty much just got the adult version of "I double dog dare you" and the stubborn Irish side of me felt the need to rise to the occasion. So, like an idiot, I tried it again.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well I've done it twice and now, seriously, I will NEVER do it again...

"No Marie, its three strikes then you're out. You gotta do one more"- No way I don't think so

"I will pay you 20 bucks to eat another one"- No way I don't think so

"I will pay for your drinks for the rest of the day"- free alcohol for the day? hmmmm I guess I could manage just one more...

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In case you're curious, they do not taste any better the third time around either. All in all, I did learn a few things from this new food experience. My gag reflexes work expertly and were fully functioning by round 3. Also if the food you are about to ingest looks like a giant pile of goo in a shell and you have to cover it in 900 mystery sauces to make it edible its probably a no-go and lastly, and perhaps most importantly...make sure that you delete the pictures taken of you mid oyster-induced gagging.

Because if a picture is worth a thousand words, the ones taken of me are only worth one...and its ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

1 comment:

Traci Anne said...

Eeeeee. I've never tried oysters, and I have to say that they don't exactly sound pleasant!!